Anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day… do you ever get overwhelmed trying to keep up with gifts for your significant other for these occasions? As the years go on, do you constantly wrack your brain for the perfect gift?
I am about to let you in on a secret on how you can love your wife, girlfriend, fiancé, significant other even better… find out what their love language is. (Image Credit)
There are five love languages, discovered by the author Gary Coleman. These five include: acts of service, gifts, quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. Everyone receives love and shows love in different ways. Once you determine how your significant other best receives love, you can cater to them in these ways. (Image Credit)
This is a growing process. Over the years I find that I try to love others the way that I want to be loved. I enjoy gifts and physical touch. Yet, others might feel uncomfortable receiving gifts or being hugged. You can determine the best possible gift by finding how they want to be loved, not how you want to love them.
As a Valentine’s Day tradition, my mom would always have my sister and I take the love language test, and we would compare it to previous years to see how we changed or evolved through out the years. Knowing how someone else scores lets you in on how to serve them better.
So before Valentine’s Day, I would recommend that you and your significant other take the quiz and compare answers. This way you know exactly how to surprise them in a way that you know they will love and feel comfortable with. Here is the link: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ (Image Credit)
I will give some examples for each type.
- Acts of service: this can be as simple as fixing that leaky faucet, changing that light bulb, taking her broken necklace to the jeweler to be repaired. These might not sound as romantic as other options, but someone who values acts of service is a practical kind of person who values when you put effort into the little things. To help complete these tasks, getting a “to do list” notepad is very helpful to keep track of things that need to be done. (Buy the gift below by clicking here!)
- Gifts: this is the most popular display of affection for Valentine’s Day. One way to surprise her without having to pry and ask for hints is to have her set up a Target wish list or registry that you can look at on your own time. That way it is right in front of you, easy to access, but you can choose from a list. This makes it easier to surprise her at random times instead of always having to ask for ideas. (Image Credit)
- Quality time: watch that chick flick she has been dying to see, help her with her DIY project, ask her about her day. Light some candles, grab the cozy blankets and pillows, and just be with her. No distractions from phones, laptops, tablets, etc. Just your unadulterated attention. Getting a designated basket to keep electronics and distractions in during quality time is a good way to keep all attention on your loved one. Target has a huge variety in all different sizes and looks. (Buy the gift below by clicking here!)
- Physical touch: hold her hand at dinner, wrap her up in a big hug when she comes home from work, cuddle while watching a movie, play with her hair, kiss her forehead, slow dance with her in the kitchen. Something new and fun to try for Valentine’s Day would be to learn how to swing dance! In addition, learning how to play with a girl’s hair is key, and many men need some helpful hints. Any girl scoring high in the physical touch category will melt if you are good at playing with her hair. Rake your fingers through her hair, starting at her scalp. Scratch her head, comb her hair, but do not pull or tangle. A scalp massager from Target might be your new best friend. Or ask her what her favorite is. Learning how to give a nice shoulder massage is also the perfect relaxer after a tough day. (Buy the gift below by clicking here!)
- Words of affirmation: write her love letters, hand written cards, post it notes all over her desk/calendar/sink for when she gets ready in the morning. These little reminders will make her smile, and having a physical reminder of this sweet gesture is nice. We call these “atta-girl” moments, and these are nice to pull out on a rainy day when a pick me up is necessary. Genuine compliments are important as well, though. Tell her she is beautiful when she is in sweats, and when she puts in the extra effort for date night. Don’t just stop there, though. Compliment her dreams and aspirations, personality, goals achieved, wisdom, how she contributes to your life. Try this fill in the blank book for a meaningful gift she can read back on. (Buy the gift below by clicking here!)
Many people score high in multiple areas, so feel free to mix and match these kinds of options for the best possible Valentine’s Day where both parties will feel the love. The best part about it? These can all be continued for every day life, and ramped up/dramatized for big celebrations like Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, birthdays, and other holidays!