The whirlwind feeling of being in love is one of those feelings that everyone wants to feel. You feel like you are walking on air. You can hardly sleep for thinking about him. You rush out of work to be with him. It is one of the most magical times in a girl’s life.
One of the things that is important to be cautious of, however, is being so focused on him that you begin to have less and less time with friends and family. If you aren’t careful, you’ll become so disconnected from your girlfriends that you have no world apart from him.
Have you ever experienced this? Meanwhile, he has no problem leaving you for poker night. It’s time to restore balance in your life.
Rest assured – if he really cares for you, then he wants you to continue enjoying your time with friends and family. In fact, it may be your insecurity about the relationship and not him at all that makes you feel like you have to spend every waking hour with him.
Your guy may be the clingy type who demands your total attention. Make sure you gently set your boundaries and make note to watch further behavior like that. A guy who is smothering or demanding is a big red flag for an unhealthy relationship. Either way, you need to be able to add him into your life not dump everyone you care about just to please him.
One way to keep your relationship exciting is to have outside interests. He has poker night and golf. You have a girlfriends’ night out and have dinner with your parents or siblings.
You have to keep balance in your life so that he doesn’t isolate you from the rest of your own world or cause you to become so dependent on him that you stop taking responsibility for yourself. Remember that you attracted your guy because of your interests and independence. Giving that up will make you appear needy and less interesting.
And don’t forget you also need some time alone. Go out for a manicure or a walk in the park. Get a massage at the local day spa or take art lessons. You can’t give up your personal development for him or in time you’ll be very frustrated.
If he is so insecure that he comments about your independent activities or constantly calls you when you’re alone at the spa or attending an art class, then he doesn’t trust you – and that’s a very poor foundation for a long-term relationship.
Consider the time investment of the people in your world. Your family has always been there for you – they are fully vested in your happiness. Your best friends have been with you for many years and through many tears. You need to show your appreciation to these people who have always watched out for you. If the time you have to spend with them instantly changes each time a man enters your life, then you aren’t the daughter, sister or friend who is fairly returning the care they have given to you.
You are cheating your family, friends and yourself. A guy who really loves you wouldn’t ask you to do that. A guy who loves himself and his needs more than he loves you will expect you to dump everyone when he calls.
Value people who have been there for you. Make time to call and get together. When invited to their special occasions, you need to be there and not make excuses. Of course your new love will be included more and more as time goes by in these occasions.
But always stay true to yourself. Remember he fell in love with you the way you truly are, don’t change to please him or chances are you will both end up unhappy. Keep your important relationships in your life as a priority no matter how crazy about the guy you are. If your new romance develops, he will be a part of that as well.
