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How to write your vows

How to Write Your Wedding Vows

Weddings are already filled with many old traditions that may or may not resonate with modern couples. This is the 21st century and you can either discard or modify some of these traditions to suit your preference. For instance, when it comes to your wedding vows, you may decide not to follow the tradition of…

Published: April 21, 2023

Weddings are already filled with many old traditions that may or may not resonate with modern couples. This is the 21st century and you can either discard or modify some of these traditions to suit your preference.

For instance, when it comes to your wedding vows, you may decide not to follow the tradition of ‘for better, for worse’ in your vows, but instead, come up with something unique for your spouse. 

The content of the vows will sound new to your partner, rather than a cliché, and tells your partner how much they mean to you. Here are tips to help you write your wedding vows.

How to write your vows

Start Early

Since you do not plan to copy it off the net or write something basic, it is best to start early to have enough time to write and revise those words. 

Also, you can compile most things you want because you can add words as soon as you remember them since you are not doing it in a rush.  

It is best to write it in a place you can access anytime, like your phone, so you can add to it whenever you want.

Have a Specific Format

If you’re like most couples, you might prefer to keep your vows a secret until the big day. Nonetheless, deciding on a particular structure, length, and other ground rules is a good idea. One of you might be fine with comedy, while the other may not be.

To ensure that you both keep to the same number of words, more or less, you should also agree on the length of your vows. Of course, nothing prevents you from writing your vows together, which some people find to be incredibly romantic.

Also, remember that it shouldn’t be too long as this can take the fun out of it. It makes sense to want to express every emotion you’re having in your vows, but you simply cannot do so.

 

Write What You Love in Your Partner

Ask some questions and write the replies in your vow. What about this individual have you vowed eternal love? When did it dawn on you that you were in love? What do you miss having each other around for? 

It can be simpler to organize your thoughts and narrow your attention to a few characteristics that truly stand out if you write down all of your thoughts and all the qualities you adore about this individual. 

Don’t worry about expressing everything because if you did, your ceremony would go on indefinitely.

 

Write the Vows

Many couples are often carried away with thoughts of writing cute stories and words for their partner that they forget to write the actual vows. In all you do, do not forget the fact that you are writing a vow. 

Vows are more than simply sweet anecdotes; they represent a serious commitment you make in front of many witnesses.

This is where you commit to “have and to hold, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health, etc.,” as many traditional wedding vows state. You can also include financial vows if they are an important part of your life. 

Most wedding vows, including Christian ones, mention remaining faithful through good and bad times. In actuality, every marriage has peaks and valleys periodically. It’s wonderful to express your desire to work through those valleys as a team.

Also, you promise to help your spouse and give examples of how you will do so. You wanted to write these vows in the first place to express your unique style and flair, so write from your heart.  

 

Declare Your Heartfelt Love

A vow is incomplete if you do not declare how much you love your spouse. Tell them how much they mean to you and how you can’t imagine your life without them. 

Explain the moment you fell in love with them. Share a heartfelt story of how the two of you met or how you realized they were the one for you right away.

Also, many couples always overlook saying ‘I love you,’ in the vow. This seems like a no-brainer and something your spouse should know. However, don’t make it so cliché that you do not tell your spouse you love them anywhere in the vow.

 

Add Some Spice

Vows are as serious and emotional as they can get; you need an icebreaker so guests do not spend the entire time wiping tears and mascaras off their faces. Adding a few laughs also relieves you and your spouse of the wedding tension.

Humor yourselves and your audience with jokes and real-life romantic events you have had with your spouse. Go down memory lane and tell them how funny the proposal was. You could tell them how the wedding prep almost made you change your mind, for instance, because choosing wedding bands for men is difficult, or other relatable jokes. 

You could also consider slideshows to make the memories visual and the vow-reading more interesting. You should learn how to create the best wedding slideshow so you don’t mess up that part.

Acknowledge Your Family and Friends

Unless you are eloping or marrying with only a couple of your friends present, it will be a good idea to acknowledge the support you will need from people present. 

Acknowledging them does not have to be too serious or playful, you can just talk about how you will need them to celebrate the birth of your children or help you out when you need extra hands in the home. 

 

Get Help

Even though you want the words to be yours, there is no harm in getting help if you need it. This does not mean the vows will be less sincere, they will just be putting your thoughts down through another person.

 Read books on wedding vows and personalize the words. You can also check out other people’s wedding vows to get a hint of what you will write. By reading other couples’ vows, you will see if you like a more conventional or modern style.

Revise and Edit

Your vows should express the seriousness of the commitment you are making despite the use of humor. Keep in mind that making others laugh is not the purpose, and use humor sparingly.

For the sake of the two of you, keep your vows straightforward and sincere rather than attempting to impress anyone else. Code words, inside jokes, and tales may need to be used with some moderate limits due to the possibility of misinterpretation.

Even if they are unable to share the same emotions as the couple getting married, the attendees at your public vow ceremony still want to feel a part of the activity.

Try to summarize as well. There shouldn’t be any waiting periods longer than one minute for any participant in the ceremony.

You can check your vows for grammatical errors or missing words by reading them aloud or using writing editing apps. You can also determine whether the structure is logical in the same way.

A close buddy who can serve as a fantastic sounding board and is an expert at keeping things quiet can also be useful. They can provide you with constructive feedback and assistance in crafting better vows so that you truly convey your meaning.

Conclusion

Although it can be nerve-wracking, writing your vows is a memory you’ll always treasure. The words will be one of the most unique and sentimental parts of your wedding ceremony. 

Ensure it contains the most important words and promises you want to convey but also make it concise. Input some humor but do not turn it into a show, vows are meant to be serious. 

Above all, do not forget to write your heartfelt promises so that it is not just full of stories and void of THE VOW.  

Article Author: Taylor Johnson