Are you planning to propose to your partner? Congratulations! This is an exciting – but often nerve-wracking – time. One of the things that may be occupying you right now is the question of whether to opt for a surprise proposal, in which you present your loved one with a ring or to propose first and then go together to choose the ring at a later date.
Ultimately, this is an extremely personal decision, and it’s vital to make the decision that is best for you and your partner. Not to mention, both options have their distinct advantages. If you’re struggling to choose which route to take, the information below can help you make a more informed decision.
Buying the Engagement Ring First
First and foremost, by buying the ring ahead of time, you get the element of surprise, which can help make the proposal itself so magical. If you’re planning on popping the question unexpectedly, then getting the ring secretly is essential. There are lots of things to consider, not least of which is your budget and your partner’s personal taste when heading to the jeweler’s. Here are some tips to help guide you through the process of buying the engagement ring.
- If you’re able to secretly get hold of one of your partner’s rings (without her getting suspicious), this is a good way of getting an engagement ring in the right size. Don’t worry too much, though, as virtually all jewelers will be happy to resize a ring if it doesn’t fit perfectly.
- Pay close attention to your partner’s preferred style of jewelry. Is it vintage or contemporary? Elegant or bold? Listen carefully if she compliments someone else’s jewelry or comments on rings seen in a store window.
- Think about the type of metal jewelry your partner already wears: does she prefer silver, gold, rose gold, or platinum, for example?
- Take into account your partner’s lifestyle. If they love being active outdoors, a large, intricate sparkler may not be the most practical option.
- Be clear on your budget before you set out to shop to help avoid overspending.
- Listen to your instinct: you know your partner and what they love.
- An engagement ring can represent a significant financial outlay. Don’t forget to get insurance to protect this precious item of jewelry. If you have renters insurance, your engagement ring should be covered – but this is worth checking for your peace of mind.
Benefits of Buying the Engagement Ring Together
Alternatively, you may decide that it’s best to propose to your partner first and then choose the ring together at a later date. There are many benefits to this option, such as the fact that you can be sure that your partner will get the ring they love and is the perfect fit, so there’ll be no need to go back for a visit to get the engagement ring resized. Not to mention that going engagement ring shopping together can be a lovely, fun bonding experience that you’ll remember forever.
As Barkev Meserlian, Founder of Barkev’s, notes, “Proposing to your partner first before choosing the ring together at a later date allows for a personalized ring selection process, ensuring the ring perfectly encapsulates your partner’s style and preferences. Moreover, it fosters a sense of collaboration and mutual decision-making, strengthening the bond between you as you embark on this exciting journey together.”
If you choose this option, you can still spring a surprise proposal, if you wish, and may like to present your partner with a stand-in ring as a symbol of the engagement. This ring can be replaced with the real deal when you go shopping together later.
A helpful hint: discuss the ring budget beforehand, to avoid any awkward moments coming up during your shopping trip. This could put a serious damper on the romance.
The Best of Both Worlds
Of course, if neither of the above options is quite right for you, there’s always the middle ground to consider. For example, you could try dropping a few subtle hints in the weeks or months leading up to the planned proposals – such as regarding ring styles she likes – and listening carefully to her answers.
Or how about choosing the engagement ring together but adding a surprise element to delight your partner when you propose? This could be an engraving on the ring’s inner band or a matching bracelet or necklace.
Final Thoughts: Preparing to Pop the Question
Still trying to decide whether to present your partner with a ring as part of a surprise proposal or to shop for a ring together at a later date?
When choosing, it’s most important to always keep at the forefront of your mind what option best suits your partner and you both as a couple. Don’t feel pressured to propose in a specific way, but be authentic to who you are as a couple and your unique relationship. However you decide to propose, and whether you choose to buy the engagement ring ahead of time or, together with your partner, at a later date, it’s sure to be a magical occasion that you and your beloved will remember forever.
Written by: Steve Marks